i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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