i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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