Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize