He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
