the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
