is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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