The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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