the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
