you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
