It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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