HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
