I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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