Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
