How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
