It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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