I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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