Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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