Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
