I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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