You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So squirting runs in the family.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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