What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
