i can't believe i had my finger in that
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize