my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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