I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
