Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We had sex on a dog bed..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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