I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
barbara walters just said penis...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
