i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
