elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
