I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
