i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
