I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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