There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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