"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
