Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
