we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
