ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
