so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
