Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
