she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize