you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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