I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
