im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
