Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
