she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
