Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
