I'm jealous of your bromance
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
