Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize