my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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