i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He kissed a someone with a penis
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
