Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
