Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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