I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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