I CAN MOONWALK!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
