It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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