I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
