Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
