Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
