idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
