one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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